Sex? In the Oval Office? Really?

Bruce GottliebPosted Sunday, Sept. 13, 1998, at 11:51 PM ET

The weekend's only topic, of course, is Starr's report. The opinion mafiosi hold forth on 1) the report itself; 2) the president's future; and 3) Congress's strategy.

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Everyone agrees that the report proves Clinton perjured himself in the Paula Jones deposition. Margaret Carlson (CNN's Capital Gang) says "it took $40 million to nail this piece of human Jell-O [Clinton] to the wall." Some opinion mafiosi think the report proves perjury before the federal grand jury. A minority think the report conclusively proves obstruction of justice and/or witness tampering. In short, the report does not appear to have changed anyone's opinion of the legal case against the president.

In the words of Paul Gigot (PBS's NewsHour With Jim Lehrer), the report's importance lies in the details, which damage the president's "moral image." The report shows Clinton to be an "adolescent" says Cokie Roberts (ABC's This Week). Pro-Clinton pundits agree with the president's attorney, David Kendall, in saying Starr included many details--e.g. breast touching, rumors of a Hillary-Bill divorce, that bit with the cigar--just because he hates the president (Margaret Carlson; Richard Ben-Veniste, NBC's Meet the Press; Eleanor Clift, The McLaughlin Group). Anti-Clintonites reply that Clinton's singular definition of sex made revealing details necessary (Stuart Taylor, Meet the Press; Robert Novak, Capital Gang). George Stephanopoulos (This Week) suggests Kendall floated the oral-sex-isn't-sex argument to force Starr to include details just so Kendall can attack him.

What will happen to Clinton? No one except Sam Donaldson (This Week) thinks Clinton will resign. A few pundits call for impeachment (Jonathon Turley, Meet the Press; Brit Hume, Fox News Sunday). The usual suspects (Jack Germond and Evan Thomas, Inside Washington; Clift; Margaret Carlson; Stephanopoulos) say sex-related perjury is not an impeachable offense.

Everyone laughs at David Kendall's assertion that Clinton didn't perjure himself. Juan Williams (Fox News Sunday) suggests Kendall perpetrates this obvious fiction, which isn't fooling any Congressmen, because Clinton may one day face legal prosecution in the courts. The week's wackiest suggestions belong to George Will (This Week), who suggests impeaching the president but not removing him from office, and Stephanopoulos who suggests that Clinton pay a fine but remain in office.

What about Congress? There is no widespread agreement about whether the House can avoid the eruption of partisan warfare. Paul Gigot (NewsHour) and Bill Kristol ( This Week) both urge Republicans to vote for impeachment if they think it's warranted, resisting the immoral urge to keep a wounded Democrat in office.

It's a dirty job... It's of course totally absurd that after seven months of predicting, analyzing, and salivating over the report's probable contents, the commentariat adopt a world-weary pose about, sigh, the obligation to discuss such deplorable, deplorable conduct. Only Al Hunt (Capital Gang) is honest: "I started to read that report. It is sleazy. It is kinky. It is repulsive and I couldn't wait to turn the page."

The Hobgoblin of Little Minds. Conventional wisdom this week is that Clinton may survive even though he probably lied to a federal grand jury. As Brit Hume rightly remembers, three weeks ago the commentariat said Clinton would be unemployed by the end of the week if he had the temerity to lie before the grand jury. None but Hume even mentions this embarassing about-face. Can't the opinion mafia at least have a sense of humour about past mistakes?

Maybe You Shouldn't Have Left the Powdered Rhino's Horn and Raw Oysters Around, Either. Starr's report is a "letdown" to former federal employee George Stephanopoulos because, in his words, "I learned [the infamous Clinton-Lewinsky affair] started in my office!" Stephanopoulos half-heartedly jokes that the whole thing was his fault because he wasn't working that fateful evening. On the other hand, Stephanopoulos may have "letdown" his former boss too: After reading the report, Stephanopoulos finds it "impossible to respect" the President.

--Bruce Gottlieb

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